Tuesday, July 07, 2020

In the beginning...

This is mainly a running tally of things I could be doing.

I haven't creatively written in a very long time. The seeds of a story never germinate. I see scenes and parts of a whole, but nothing to congeal it. I think the last long form thing I wrote was years ago. Possibly college. Christ, that was almost two decades ago.

At the moment, I am trying to spark something. Not necessarily a written thing, but some thing. I have a book in front of me that I read the first chapter of on Sunday. I picked it up because lately I watch a ton of Youtube videos. Seriously, it is probably my main form of entertainment. I used to listen to podcasts while playing World of Warcraft, but I put aside the game for the time being. I think I was just a bit bored of it. 

Anyway, the book was written by the guy who runs the channel and produces the videos. I started watching him because I was approached to participate in a Star Trek role-playing game. Trying to gather inspiration for a character, I discovered a channel that had some short sci-fi lore videos. 

After watching a bunch of the videos, I usually feel compelled to contribute something back to the creator. Sometimes, I back them on Patreon if I find myself looking forward to their videos every week, This time, I kept getting his embedded ads for his own novel. Checking it out on Amazon, it was a decent price, and only a few dollars more for a print copy. I personally prefer physical books rather than digital. I have a better chance to read on paper than a screen because a screen can usually be used for videos instead.

Well, after the first chapter, it hasn't grabbed me yet. I liked his brief description of the plot. The concept seemed interesting. When I got the book, the layout looked easily digestible. I will probably attempt to give it more of a go. The first chapter seemed like a slog though. I know it was set up, but parts seemed forced. It will probably pay off later, but I don't think it was handled very well.

I am a big believer in the power of the first sentence. It sets the stage for everything coming after it. The first sentence was weak. It was certainly no, "Call me Ismael." That is hard to top. Even the generic, "Once upon a time," evokes something. It starts with, "In a corner of the Universe, resided a Galaxy." I know it is science fiction, and wants to present that. Still, the whole first chapter is set up, but consist of the end, final strike of a war between two worlds. According to the back of the book description, the rest of the story is about trying to prevent another war. It should have been something about war and not the universe/galaxy thing.

Looking ahead, the second chapter starts better. Maybe there is hope for it. Hell, the first sentence of the Special Thanks in the very beginning was good. "Writing is expected to be a solitary activity."

Well, he ain't wrong.

I specifically didn't name names or throw anyone under a bus because I don't think I can't accurately review a book without reading it. I don't drop the Youtube channel because 1) I don't think anyone is actually reading this, and 2) I don't think anyone will actually care.

Saturday, July 04, 2020

Fandom things

I am not sure I understand fandom.

I like a lot of things. Nerdy things, sci-ency things, arty things, weird things, scary things, lovely things, pretty things, ugly things... you get the point.

More and more, I keep hearing and reading about how fans of things aggressively admonish the supposed thing they love. They focus so much time and effort in loving a thing, that whenever something is done with their fandom, it is seen almost as an attack.

I understand preferring one thing over another. I can understand someone who says that the prequel Star Wars films are better than the original trilogy. I think they are wrong, but that is my opinion. Maybe they fell in love with Jarjar Binks when they were a kid and it triggers that right sense of nostalgia. It can bring them back to a better part of their life, or and easier part. Maybe Jarjar makes them smile.

People are allowed to like things. There truly is something for everyone out there. Grabbing hold of a thing and making it your life can be troubling. Like or love a thing but don't let that thing govern and define who you are as a person. It is merely a part.

I like wresting. It seems silly to some people, but I like it. I have actively watched wresting for nearly 25 years, but it has always been in the periphery my entire life. At first it was something to do. Then, it turned out my friends got into it as well. When college and young adulthood happened, I started to be slightly ashamed of it. I would still watch, but I had no one to share it with. Still, I liked it and didn't really retreat into it. It was just entertainment. Now, I am a little less guarded by my love of wrestling. I still watch, but I will engage in conversations if someone wants one. I wear the t-shits like a badge.

Still, it isn't my everything. If I don't like it, I can watch something else. There are plenty of things that can fill that void. Hell, I can fill that void of bad things with other wrestling. I can give new things a chance if the current thing I like isn't going the way I would prefer it to.

I like things. I never call myself a fan of them. It feels like that word had an almost negative connotation these days. It seems that "fans" are the first ones to adversely react to the thing they supposedly love. If the thing I like suddenly does something I am not happy with, I can always just go find something new. Some day, I may even come back to the old thing. It is my choice.

Thursday, July 02, 2020

Something to do....

I haven't looked at this in years.

I have been feeling anxious lately. The whole world is in actual chaos. People are unsure about how life works now. For me, I just don't know what to do with myself.

I fill my time. I still work two jobs, which is better than some people. I never applied for unemployment, so no bonus cash from the feds. Money isn't too important to me right now. I have that going for me. Thankfully, I have few expenses.

I decided to started writing this in an effort to do something. I spend a good bit of time trying to figure out what to do with myself. I sometimes get stressed at work from just having seemingly everything happen at once. Work can give me focus, though. At least when I go to work, I have something to do. I have something to work towards, even if it is the end of the day.

I am the only employee working at my "night" comic book job. The boss stepped up and is still finding his feet getting back to actual work and not just delegating. I just have to step up my usual tasks. It doesn't help that the comic book industry used everything going on as a springboard to screw more things up for me. I know it wasn't a personal attack. It is mainly poor timing at a terrible time to throw more chaos and stress on an already near mentally breaking time.

This is just a bit of stress relief. I have more hobbies than I can handle. I like too many things, but am not a true fan of any of them. Nothing is really "my thing". I still have a terrible habit of attempting to throw money at a thing in the hope that I'll enjoy it. I have bought video games and played them once. I buy books to flip through and pretend I may read them some day. I have models to build and paint and no desire to choose which ones to do first. An excuse of not wanting to screw it up is fleeting. I could always just buy a new one to attempt to get that desire feeling again.

Who knows? Maybe this will trigger something in me. Maybe I will start writing a bit here again. Even it if is just something to do. At least it feels like a slight sense of accomplishment. That is all work is now, a sense of accomplishment when I struggle to get started. Still, I didn't have to get back on here to write, Luckily, it was automatically logged in because this site is owned and run by Google. Saves some time.

All right. I think that is enough for now. We'll see how long this lasts. One step at a time...