More reasons why I don't write

Ramble time.

I have a big problem with not writing. It's not for lack of ideas. It's how I feel about what I write.

I am of the opinion that if I write something, I would like for it to be and assume it will be read. This hinders some of my subject matter because of the subjects of the writing are typically, living breathing people that could also be reading this.

If you know me, you can sort of realized that I am more verbose on things that are aggravating and generally pissing me off. Hell, everyone likes to vent. Everyone needs to vent in fact. I actually originally started writing a blog in the efforts to vet more. I had some silly notion that if I started cataloging my complaints with the world, they would become less overbearing.

I have attempted on occasion to do the typical diary/journal just for personal things. It doesn't work for me though. Handwriting out something takes too long for how fast my mind works, and my hand-writing is progressively crappier the faster I try to write. I literally have about five or six books with varying degrees of gibberish scrawled in them about whatever nonsense I was going though at certain points in my life. I like back to school sales for the plethora of cheap notebooks and pens.

To put it simply, what I want to write is about you.

Granted, I always write about me. I am after-all the focus of my being. It's just that you tend to be the subject of whatever is going on. You influence my being. You make me feel certain ways. Ways I would like to share with the world, for both good and bad reasons. I could take what I feel and keep it to myself, but I don't think that is what writing is for in the grand scheme of things. I think writing is meant to be shared for good of ill.

It's like those sex tapes that get leaked constantly. If you didn't expect anyone to watch it, you shouldn't have done it in the first place. People constantly send dirty (scratch that) nude photos to loved ones (or lust ones) but don't expect them to be viewed by anyone else. It's not that they will be viewed by anyone else, it's that it could be. To be honest, if I had nude pictures of an attractive girl, I probably wouldn't delete them, even if I don't share them with friends.

What I am trying to say is that writing for me is like nudity. It's an exposure to who I am and the random things that come to mind. It just happens that what is on my mind is you. I don't think you would like to read about yourself, though.

So, here I am with a desire to loquaciously strip on the internet. As I am about to undo the first button, I stare nervously at the crowd. I don't think they would want to see what I am about to show. I freeze, staring at the spotlight glowing in my face.