Pretend Discourse on the Conflagration of Words

I am bored. It is a Friday night. Rather early Saturday morning. I am in a strange place at the moment. Writing seems like a proper outlet for  clarity. There won't be clarity. Vagueness is what this blog is all about.

I would like to say my mind is in a grey area, but that would be untrue. It is more of a marbled concoction. Like mixing black and white paint in a can before you start swirling. I have an idea where I am, and where I am supposed to be. I just wish those two things could meet, shake hands and get along. I know that is asking for a lot.

So, since this is well before my proper pass out time, I will sit here and type. I turned on some Deadmau5 to give me some sounds. Didn't want the proper burrowing of lyrics to invade my thought patterns. I'd rather settle for beats and pray for some semblance of meaning I can derive from their rhythmic pulsing.

I finished Season 5 of Californication. Got my Hank Moody on all well and proper like. I should really go back to watching X-Files. As much as I liked that show, I never finished it despite the man-crush on Duchovny. It was even the first long term show I collected the entire run of on DVD. Hell, I even seen the movies in the theater. I pretend to be a proper geek.

I want to say I identify with Hank Moody. The only thing I think I can see in him is his greatest asset. At heart, he seems like a decent guy. He just fucks up a lot. I can see that. I just don't allow myself to fuck-up at all. Fear. That is my hindrance. I can not just damn the consequences.

I think it's weird that Deadmau5 went from "Alone With You" to "Secondary Complications". Stop being a jerk, iTunes.

I also watched a comic book creator documentary on Grant Morrison called, "Grant Morrison: Talking With Gods." It was very good. Grant is a strange guy, but an interesting guy to listen to. For all the drug and alien talk, if you pay attention to what he is saying, there is a hidden meaning. He claims to have had shamanistic experiences, and who am I to doubt him. I think everyone can have something like that if they just pay attention to their lives.

Grant has written a torrid amount of work. I have read a good deal of it, but there is always more. When i was younger, I was introduced to his Animal Man stuff. I liked it because of how different it was, but I didn't truly understand it. It's one of those things that I should revisit. I have a ton, almost literally, of stuff to read. My brain craves to be expanded and filled with knowledge. Maybe, if I fill all the cracks in my brain, it will seep to other places and heal those places as well.